The Secret Life Of Mademoiselle Lou Ella

I'm A Dreamer, A Girl That Wishes On Stars, That's Been Through The Worst And Finally Experiencing The Best.

RSS feedSubscribe to my posts

28th January
2012
28

Sometimes I expect things…

Then they don’t happen…

And I realise I live too much of my life in my imagination.

4 notes

Permalink

mysmallcorneroflife liked this
wishkataku liked this
angelicaldarkness posted this

Who am I?

There's three sides of my life.

The one where everybody knows me, everybody loves me, I take shit from nobody and I own my life. I work hard and play harder. I make myself known, and I do things I shouldn't. I don't trust, I'm suspiscious of everyone new. I'm cold hearted, sarcastic, and my humor is dry. I intimidate men and use them like toys. I am strong and carefree. I am Mademoiselle Lou Ella.

Then there's the 'family' me. I behave how my family see me. I live for them, they live through me. I'm a good girl. I behave. I try my best, I achieve nothing. I'm almost 30 with no man, home or children, a little behind my younger family members. Sometimes they see me as selfish, should I chose to live my life my way. Sometimes they have no idea who I am. I am daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, grandaughter, niece. I am Laura.

Then, then is me. A person very very few people know. I try not to trust but I do and get hurt. I've loved with my whole heart, and had it crushed till it doesn't work anymore. I love from a safe distance. I've cried so many tears, I can't cry anymore. I think too much. I'm shy and quiet. I worry, I panic, I need time on my own, I hate being alone. I'm an enigma. I keep secrets, I tell none of mine. I live in fear of a darkness thats ready to take over me. I am not strong, I am not weak. I just am.

Following

My Likes

Photo via secretedsins

Gratuitous beard update. Cheeks itched. Ditched.

Photo via secretedsins
Post via aquietjoy

Childish Days

imprisonedphilosopher:

once upon
an afternoon
the sky let loose
it’s snowy boon
and graced my eyes

Post via aquietjoy
Photoset via dougsnewtumblelog

pulmonaire:

Dukno Yoon creates rings, bracelets, and other devices that mimic the movements...

Photoset via dougsnewtumblelog
Post via imprisonedphilosopher

Silent Hill

she called out my name
but it wasn’t for me
she wanted this love
but it wasn’t to be

...

Post via imprisonedphilosopher
Photo via lilysofthefield

Hello :) It’s cold and wet outside. It needs to all go away. Trying to make plans for some trips...

Photo via lilysofthefield
Photo via stacieface

The first baby clothes, my mom found it at babies-r-us!

Photo via stacieface
Photo via dougsnewtumblelog

Photo via dougsnewtumblelog
Photo via dougsnewtumblelog

Photo via dougsnewtumblelog
Photo via thesensualstarfish

scarlettmadison:

A crop from “Bar”, one of our more recent sets on our site.

Photo via thesensualstarfish
Photo via dougsnewtumblelog

atsirhc:

Almost in Valdosta. (Taken with picplz.)

Photo via dougsnewtumblelog