Where words fail, music speaks.
- 29th January
2012 - 29
- 29th January
2012 - 29
A Bloggers Infatuation
Can you really fall in love
with someone you’ve never seen
except within the words they leave
there upon your screen
showing that they understand
the things that you’ve been through
since they’ve often had to go
through the same things too
and even though you’ll never know
the pleasure of their touch
doesn’t mean that you can’t
love them just as much
knowing that each time you read
the feeling’s that they share
you can close your eyes and dream
and for a moment they’ll be there….
I’ve ‘loved’ so many people online. Had serious crushes on guys. Mainly because they understood me, felt what I did about life, been through what I had. I figured that because we were the same they’d love me too, doesn’t quite work like that. I have been so infatuated with people at times though.
- 29th January
2012 - 29
No offense, but you go on about how his attitude hurts you etc etc - have you ever stopped to think about how yours affects him? You're a pretty strong-willed personality from the looks of it, and you sometimes come across as awfully needy and very easily upset. Always attacking him here, but never really stopping to look at what you can do to remedy the situation or how you can toughen yourself up in the face of adversity...
Asked by: Anonymous
Hi.
I’d like to think I don’t speak to him like shit. He has a way of being very blunt and talking without thinking, something I do still need to get used to. As for how I portray myself on here it’s very different to how I actually am. I’d like to think I’m strong willed but in reality I’m very weak and give in to things too easily. I say alot on here that I don’t say to him because yes I an quite needy and easily upset, so I’ll write here so that I’m not annoying him and making him feel bad. He doesn’t read my Tumblr or know of the times when I’m really down or struggling with the distance. I wouldn’t say I’m always attacking him either. He’s a very very good man to me and at times treats me way better than someone like me deserves. It’s just been a bad weekend, for both of us, and so I’m whinging here rather than to him causing a bad air between us, especially with the distance. It wasn’t until last night I realized why he’d been narky. There’s nothing I can do but reassure him, the same as what he does for me when I have irrational fears. He jyst reacts differently to me and unfortunately it’s in a way that hurts my feelings.
This whole serious relationship thing is a learning curve. For both me and him. There’s probably things we could both do to make each other feel better. But for now there’s a serious huge distance between us and we do what we do.
As for toughening myself up, I don’t want to. Not with him. I’ve been through a very lot in my life. I’ve had to be cold and hard towards life to survive and I’d rather not be that way with him. Having emotions and showing them is very very new to me. I often get it wrong and I often don’t know how I should react to situations and just end up upset.
It’s something I’ll work on.
If I’ve given a bad impression of him please disregard it. He is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. We’re just having a moment. I don’t mean to be ‘attackIng him’ either. I’m just having a whinge. I thinktheres a difference.
- 29th January
2012 - 29
mysmallcorneroflife replied to your post: Well he can’t keep his shitty mood. It’s all…
Bleh Let me tell you dear, they never understand when they are in a crap mood that it affects you too They just dont get how their actions/words affect your feelings/day Trust me Joey and I still have spats bout this after living/being together 4ever
I understand why he’s being shitty. There’s 10,500 miles between us an he has his weak moments as I do. It just annoys me when he doesn’t realize his words hurt me and he carries on like everything’s fine. Erm well no actually because I end up upset even more. We’re very similar in the way one bad thought/fear festers and takes over us. For him however it turns him into a dick and for me it turns me into an insecure emotional wreck lol. It’ll be okay when we’re together, it’ll just be the usual couple bickering and what not.
It’s just really hard with this distance and his attitude doesn’t make it easier :( he just makes me feel like I’m doing things wrong or I’m not good enough.
- 29th January
2012 - 29
Well he can’t keep his shitty mood.
It’s all because he’s having fears. Fine I understand that, I constantly have fears. I just don’t understand why the dick side of him has to come through. I thought he’d be over that by now, especially when he knows how much he hurt me by being like that.
Well whatever.
I don’t need him making me feel better, I have my niece Darcy and we’re googling elephant pictures.
He’s just not understanding that this side of him really hurts me.
- 29th January
2012 - 29
Life is like a road
even when you see the signs
you still can get lost
- 29th January
2012 - 29
“I miss you”
“talk to you later loz”
Smoooooth.
- 29th January
2012 - 29
I just want him to acknowledge he knows he’s hurt me and upset me.
Men are so fucking ignorant.
- 29th January
2012 - 29
Why did the chicken cross the road?
- Plato: For the greater good.
- Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
- Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
- Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
- Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
- Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
- Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
- Douglas Adams: Forty-two.
- Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
- Oliver North: National Security was at stake.
- B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.
- Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
- Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
- Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
- Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
- Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
- Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
- Salvador Dali: The Fish.
- Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
- Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
- Epicurus: For fun.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
- Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
- Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
- Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
- David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
- Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it [censored] wanted to. That's the [censored] reason.
- Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
- Ronald Reagan: I forget.
- John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.
- The Sphinx: You tell me.
- Mr. T.: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
- Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
- Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
- Molly Yard: It was a hen!
- Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.
- Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.
- Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.
- The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.
- Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.
- Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.
- Othello: Jealousy.
- Dr. Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.
- Mrs. Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.
- Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.
- Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question.
- Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.
- Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.
- Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.
- Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of misplaced concreteness.
- Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter.)
- Hamlet: That is not the question.
- Donne: It crosseth for thee.
- Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.
- Constable: To get a better view.
- Yeats: She was following the Faeries that sang to her to come away with them from the dull, bucolic comfort of the farmyard to the waters and the wild.
- Shelley: 'Tis a metaphor for the pursuits of man: though 'twas deemed an extraordinary occurrence at the time, still it brought little to bear on the great scheme of time and history, and was ultimately fruitless and forgotten.
- Tolkien: Chickens are respectable folk, and well thought of. They never go on any adventures or do anything unexpected. One fine spring day, as the chicken wandered contentedly around the farmyard, clucking and pecking and enjoying herself immensely, there appeared a Wizard and thirteen Dwarves who were in need of a chicken to share in their adventure. Reluctantly she joined their party, and with them crossed the road into the great Unknown, muttering about how rude the Dwarves were to take her away on such short notice, without even giving her time to brush her feathers or fetch her hat.
- 29th January
2012 - 29
So I expected him to Skype me last night…..when he woke…but no…
So I figured he’d let me sleep and we’d Skype this morning….but no….
And I darn’t ask.
So much for him “needing” to see and hear me. He’s obviously had better things to do.
It’s fine. Whatever.
It’s only Skype right?
We talk on Whatsapp. At least I have that.
- 28th January
2012 - 28
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve felt more emotions towards a fictional character than I do towards people I know in real life, I would probably have enough money to pay for the psychiatric help I obviously need.
- 28th January
2012 - 28
(Source: l-i-r-a, via mermaidsandearthquakes)
- 28th January
2012 - 28
Sometimes I expect things…
Then they don’t happen…
And I realise I live too much of my life in my imagination.
- 28th January
2012 - 28
Is it wrong of me to be just a tad upset he hasn’t even acknowledged he upset me? I kinda thought my audio note and the fact I told him that after all this time he could still break my heart would have made it obvious.
I actually for once don’t even know what to say to him. I’m tired of forcing a conversation, he can do the work if he really wants to talk to me.
Or maybe I should bribe him! Tell him I’m not talking to him until he eats something for breakfast!
I fucking hate this distance so very much.
- 28th January
2012 - 28
there’s a part of me that wants to hate Paris
I think it’s the cliche of it all
but
I suppose
if I were in a situation to call this my neighborhood
or if I were to wake up to see this out my window
well
I imagine it would be hard to hate
